its not the same.

its times like this i wish i had someone here to listen to my words. its times like this i dont expect a call from anyone but simply wish to know im not alone. its times like this when i cant take it anymore & i wanna just cry but found out there's no more tears to cry.

emotions flow when you cry. be it happy or sad. so what happens when you cant cry. when you know its suffocating your throat but you cant let it go. not because you dont want to, but because you cant.

what happens when everything is kept inside and you know theres only so much you can take. can you tell when someone has been crying themself to sleep or when someone is hurting so bad on the inside they get scarred on the outside.

how can you promise someone you'll always be there when they need them. how can you promise that the distance between you and someone is just a phone away. how can you stare me down and say you can count on me. how can you make it so easy when you say i'll always remember you.

how could you.

how could you when thats a promise no one can make. not to themselves and not to others. no one will forever be there for you, its time i learn to stand by myself. if the distance between you and someone is a phonecall away, then what if no one ever calls back or answers the phone. i cant count on you, and you wont remember me forever, because memories fade, no matter how hard we try to hold on to them.

photos and mental scenes in your head are only what used to be.

but at least i can argue that its not a "what if" anymore.